One Lie, A Dozen Truths
by Penelope Loc
Summary: China tells his people a little white lie that gets out of control. Some Prussia x Hungary in later chapters, not the first. Rated M for political controversy, dark themes, language, and later violence. NO LEMONS. (Update, there's also a chapter with a South Park reference, but since it's only one chapter, I'm not considering it a crossover.)
1. Killing Three Problems With One Lie

**Warning: Before you read, note that there are some very controversial political issues, and the Chinese Government is not responsible for any actions in this story. Thank You, and reviews will be appreciated.**

On this fine day, where one should've been outside playing with the frogs in the ponds, our good friend, China, is listening to the grievances of the people in a claustrophobic-prone conference room.

"Wang Yao! 19 illegal abortion clinics opened in the Manchurian areas again!

"Wang Yao! There's been a sharp rise in SARS cases!"

"Wang Yao! The farmers are growing mushrooms out of plutonium!"

"Wang Yao! My horseshit has fly poo in it!"

"**ENOUGH! (aru)"**

The whole room was silent. A disgruntled China was sitting on one far end of the table, while the other government officials took their seats on neatly lined up chairs.

"Now please state each problem one at a time."

A funny-looking guy in a straw hat, but a suit then proceeded to say, " My horseshit has-

"Next, aru."

The government body of the People's Republic of China them began to uneasily look at each other. No one knew who had the problem that was worth hearing about, after Wang Yao had rejected the horse poop issue. Sure there could be a little uranium in some rice, but fly dung in horse poop!? Unbelievable!

After a few uneasy minutes, a smart-looking fella then raised his barely audible voice.

"I think that we should talk about the medical issues first."

China hesitated, then replied, " Fine then. May you list out all of the problems?

Fumbling through papers, the guy only managed to hold on to a few slippery, laminated sheets, before some fell onto the floor. Another person, a young lady with fiery, slanted eyes sighed, and picked up one of them.

"Alright," she began, "We have a sharp rise in SARS and STD cases, there has been an apparent baby boom, our amount of frog legs available has increased-"

"Hold it; I just have an idea."

The room looked at China with curiosity, probably mistaken for eagerness.

"Well?"

China then proceeded, "You know how Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS is spreaded by physical contact and STDS are by sexual, which is also physical, aru?

"Yes."

"Then I think that we could solve those two problems, plus lower the birth rate, by telling our netizens a _little_ white lie; let's scare them into not having you-know-what, by telling them that SARS is a genetic disease, and that the possibility of getting it is more likely in having 'it' with a Chinese man, due to inbreeding. That way, people keep themselves safe from those who don't know that they have it, and the birth rate drops too!"

The cavern started murmuring in agreement, but then the inaudible man spoke up:

"Will there be consequences from the panic it could cause?"

China thought for a moment.

"Ahh, not at all; intellectuals, like you and me, underestimate the maturity and intelligence of our people. I'm pretty sure that they'll just take it seriously enough, and just not have sex, aru."

"Alright, then, said an official, "It's settled; lets start constructing the proclamation."

Some officials then started writing rough drafts of such, while others were making posters to hang in all of China. Wang Yao smiled, peacefully looking at each person hard at work, giving the lie life, but for the greater good.

**How'd you like it? No Hungary x Prussia yet, though; that comes later. Again, reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	2. The Alert (is a lie)

The next day, there was a crowd of people was surrounding a billboard. Most of the people in the crowd were women.

"Are you telling me that I could get SARS from my husband?" said a small lady.

"Lies! All Lies!" roared an elderly man in the crowd, "I always had it with my wife, and she never got SARS!"

Out of nowhere, a cell phone shrilled it's wonky melody in the air.

"Allo?" replied the old man.

"Han *cough, cough*," said a wheezing old woman's voice, "I think I have SARS."

The air turned cold. Pairs of sharp glares started to point towards the poor guy.

"It wasn't me, I swear!" pleaded the old man.

"Then who was it?" questioned a young girl.

Now let's fast-forward before we get a bloody scenario.

* * *

"Eh? You want to cancel our rendezvous together?"

Prussia was sitting in his house, feeding his fluffy, yellow little bird bread crumbs, while talking to Hungary on the phone. She was suppose to come over for dinner, and an *ahem* 'sleepover.'

"Look, Gilbert", said Hungary, "I love you, but I want to protect myself from SARS."

"What do you mean!?" retorted Prussia, "I'm zero-percent SARS and only 120% awesome!"

After a pause Hungary said, "Well you see, Wang Yao and his scientists found that SARS is a genetic condition, and that there is a small chance a woman can contract it from a man,or the man can get it himself."

Prussia could not believe his ears! He smashed his fist on the table, shouting, "What does that old coot know about SARS? I've never even given it to you!"

"Sorry Gilbert, but I don't want any chance of getting it, even if it's a one in a gazillion chance. Besides, China knows about these things, and according to statistics, there's been a sharp rise in such cases."

Prussia glanced into blank space for a few seconds. Then he relaxed his grip on the phone.

"Hey, if you don't want to have it, can you at least come over for dinner?"

A brief pause.

"Sure, be there at 7."

Then she hung up. A brief silence filled the room as Prussia thought about their relationship. He and Hungary had been steady for a couple decades already, ever since they put their differences aside. Sure she could be unstable at times, but that Hungary was not bad looking, and she's like the opposite of him; like they say, opposites attract. During that time, modern thinking also came in, and now casual sex didn't seem as bad anymore. However, now that this scare came in, Prussia is very sure bad things would happen between Hungary and he, and other couples too. Telling people not to have sex at this time now, is like trying to rewind a broken cassette tape by jamming the tape up the slot by hand.

"Hey you, little guy," Prussia said to his bird, "You can take care of yourself when I'm down, right?"

"_Cheep."_


	3. Kenny in Hetalia

For the record, Han's wife, from chapter two, did not have SARS; it was just the flu. Now he, ironically, is in a hospital bed along with several other men, freshly beaten up by violent groups of women, and or other men.

"This thing is getting too far," said Han.

"Mrrrh Mrrrh," said the orange hoodie-cladded kid next to him.

"We got to march up to the government, and tell them what's happening to us and others!" said Bai-Ai, the man laying in the bed after that kid.

All of a sudden, a bunch of women crashed through a window and started open-firing with some stolen rifles.

"For the good of womankind!" screeched a crazed female.

Because they were civilians, and most were inexperienced with guns the only person they hit was that kid.

"Chưa oi! Moi người giết Kenny!" said a random Viet on a bed.

"Con đẻ hoang!" responded another.

"WE'RE OUT OF BULLETS!" screamed a particularly voluminous woman.

"Retreat!"

"为什么?" muttered Han.

**Heh heh, I couldn't resist adding this snippet. Sorry if you're either creeped out, or offended by the story, but remember, it's all fiction..Besides, you could stop reading any time; I'm not gonna stop you! (Just please don't flame or kill me)**


	4. More Characters and Insanity

Meanwhile, there has been some terrible news among our female countries.

"Did you hear? Vietnam has acquired the SARS!"

Seychelles, our speaker, has caused a panic in the entire meeting room. Each lady stared at her with saucer-sized eyes.

"Who in the world did she screwed!?" asked Belgium.

Seychelles replied, "I asked her the same question, and she swore that she didn't do it with anyone."

"That could only mean one thing," said Belarus, " That SARS is evolving and it has found alternate ways to spread!"

"Oh no!" cried Taiwan, "We must eradicate it before it goes anywhere else!"

The room muttered in agreement.

"Does everyone have their own plans?" asked Ukraine.

"Oh I, for sure _do_ have one," assured Hungary.

That night, Prussia woke up, to find a silhouette of a woman in his room.

"Finally caved in, huh?"

* * *

In China, where it's already daytime, there seems to be a never-ending list of problems.

"Okay, there has been an increase in hospitalizations, due to riots and maiming of the untouchables, someone has put ball-cutter fish in the Yangzhou bathing houses, misandry sentiment has risen, and there is still an increase of frog legs. There are other problems, too, but it'll take the whole day to list them all. In general, things are much off worse now"

China and his council sat, thinking in silence.

"Mr. Wang," said an official, "Do you think it's time to come clean to the public?"

China replied, "If they don't settle down soon, yes, but let's just wait it out for a while; at least one good thing is going on, at this time."

"And what it may be?"

"Increased amount of frog legs; more food for the people."

"Sir, it's from pollution."


	5. Prussia Has No Balls

_Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?_

_Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?_

_It's swell to have a stiffy,_

_It's divine to own a dick._

_From the tiniest little tadger_

_To the world's biggest prick!_

_So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas._

_Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake._

_Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,_

_Your Percy or your cock._

_You can wrap it up in ribbons,_

_You can slip it in your sock._

_Just don't take it out in public,_

_Or they will put you in the dock_

_...And you won't_

_come_

_back._

"And this has been 'Isn't it Awfully Nice to Have a Penis' from Monty Python's video, _The Meaning of Life_, on the Monty Python Channel."

The radio was blabbing out its broadcast to Prussia in a hospital bed. He apparently had his dong severed by Hungary. With that, he shedded a tear, as he sniffled,

"Crazy-ass bitch! Why did I even love her in the first place!?"

A young nurse along with Germany came in. Germany, despite his rigid norms, couldn't keep a straight face, as it looked like he was laughing deep down, but with a tinge of pity.

"Now Mr. Gilbert, is there anything you need?" asked the nurse.

"Will I still go to heaven in this castrated state?"

"_Bruder_, I'm sure god will still love you, as this is not your fault," replied Germany.

"Okay, I'll leave you two alone, while I take care of our other patients," said the nurse.

The was an awkward silence, as this was perfect for an awkward situation. At last, Germany said, "The other nations wish you well, so we've made a gift basket for you."

Prussia then opened the basket. Inside was :_wiener schnitzels_, swedish _meatballs,_ _dango_ (Japan), chinese _pork buns_, french _baguettes_, grecian_ olives_, italian _pepperoni sausages_, spanish _churros_, american _hot dogs_, and finally, british scones and_ teabags_ .

And the rain came pouring down.

**Yeah, that was pretty mean, I admit. Author's note: when Prussia asked if he could still go to heaven, remember that he's religious. In really traditional Roman Catholic (I'm not sure about other sects of Christianity) castrations are frowned upon. Anyway, again, thanks to those who are reading this, and reviews are appreciated! (Lyrics are from MetroLyrics)**


	6. Going Back to Zero

"NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU BLOODY OLD GIT!"

China could feel the dagger sharp glares raining down on him like a torrent. The other countries knew that he messed up. and big time too.

"Because of you, Gilbert's in the hospital, and Elizabeta's in prison!" said Turkey.

"By the way, _mon ami vieux_, are you really sure about the accuracy of your PSA?" questioned France.

China glanced downward, and let out a sigh.

"Alright, I'll tell the truth. It was a little white lie that got out of control. I wanted to lower the birth, SARS, and STD rates all at once,so I told my public that. However, I underestimated how seriously it would be taken. I'm sorry to you guys, the public, and those that were harmed because of me."

The downpour of anger calmed down. Eyes were relaxed and a calm wave of sympathy flowed in. At last America spoke out:

"Dude, heroes don't deceive people or break their promises, that's what makes them heroes."

"I think the best thing to do, now, would be to tell the truth," said Japan.


	7. The End?

The following day, there was a national broadcast on the news. In English, it went about something like this:

"To whom it may concern:"I'm very sorry for telling a lie about SARS. This disease is not a genetic one, but a virus that spreads through air and physical contact. Again I'm very sorry for being deceitful, and will try to be truthful in the future."

And thus, violent groups of people disbanded, people start wildly making out again, and life went back to normal. As for Prussia:

"What now, you crazy bitch?"

Prussia was recently discharged from the hospital. Because of the pain, he had to get around on a wheelchair. Being too proud to go around like that, he stayed in his home, talking to Hungary over the prison telephone lines.

"Look *cough cough* I'm sorry for what I did," said Hungary, "I want to be your girlfriend again (hack)."

"Fat chance!" replied Prussia, "And what's with you coughing anyway?"

"You see," answered Hungary, "I have SARS *cough*."

Prussia let out a hoot and a holler in the air, scaring the yellow little bird away.

"YOU SEE!?" he cried, "THAT"S WHAT YOU GET FOR HANDLING MY AWESOMEST ASSETS THE WRONG WAY!"

"No, you idiot!" yelled Hungary, "I visited Vietnam, and I might've gotten SARS from her coughs*cough cough*!"

"The irony!" laughed Prussia.

Hungary fumed and turned beet red for a moment.

"Anyway," said Hungary in a flat tone, "I sent you a package, with a note*cough*if you still don't want to reconcile, I'll try to accept it."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Prussia opened the door, which presented a delivery man who handed him a package.

"Just sign here," he said.

After the man left, Prussia took the package to the kitchen table, and the phone rang again.

"Read the note*cough*," Hungary answered, in the phone.

"_I'm sorry for cutting off your balls; will you forgive me?" -_ _ Elizabeta Héderváry__" _ read Prussia.

Inside the package, was a bouquet of flowers and a bag of 'Whoppers Malted Milk Balls.'

"America told me to *cough cough* give that to you," said Hungary.

"You know what?" replied Prussia, "You may be somewhat insane, but I'll consider it."

* * *

The following day, our OC, Han was walking on the streets, when he saw this lady come out of the dry cleaning store with her clothes neatly folded, rather than hanged and bagged. Curious, he looked across the street, where the billboard was, and on it, a notice was posted:

**Attention: Coat hangers might facilitate the spread of syphilis**

Here we go again.

**If you read all of the chapters, again, thank you for taking time off to read my story. About the title, there is an old Chinese proverb that states one lie told by a person, would be told as the truth by a dozen others. I thought that would be perfect for this story, hence the name. Again, reviews are appreciated, and thanks for reading!**


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